1. On Sears hairdryer:

"Do not use while sleeping."

(But..., that's the only time I have to work on my hair)

2. On some Swanson frozen dinners:

"Serving suggestions: Defrost."

(But it's "just" a suggestion)

3. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):

"Do not turn upside down."

(Oops, too late!)

4. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

"Do not iron clothes on body."

(But wouldn't this save even more time?)

5. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:

"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we

could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

6. On most brands of Christmas lights:

"For indoor or outdoor use only."

(As opposed to underwater?)

7. On a Japanese food processor:

"Not to be used for the other use."

(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

8. On Sainsbury's peanuts:

"Warning: Contains nuts."

9. On a child's Superman costume:

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company.)

10. On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid:

"Do not use on food."

(Hey, Mom, we're out of syrup! It's OK, honey, just grab the Palmolive!)